When I first read your perspective, my initial reaction was that it was one of the worst pieces of dating advice I'd encountered in a long time. But after giving it a few more seconds of thought, I realized that there's actually some valuable wisdom in what you're saying. Being authentic, honest, and direct is indeed good advice when it comes to dating. However, I think there's more to it than just being straightforward about your intentions.
While I agree that making your intentions clear is important, I believe that focusing solely on this can lead to missed opportunities. Yes, honesty and directness can be refreshing, but depth and connection are equally vital. It's important to be able to engage in meaningful conversations with someone you're genuinely interested in. At the same time, it's also valuable to enjoy lighter, more casual conversations without any expectation of where things might lead. This balance is key to navigating the complexities of dating.
One concern I have with the approach you describe is that it might alienate women who would be interested in you if there was a bit more effort put into building a connection. Sometimes, better communication skills and the ability to enjoy the moment without any immediate expectations can lead to more fulfilling experiences, both in the short and long term. The notion that a woman owes you anything simply because you've spent money on her is problematic and can lead to a transactional view of relationships, which is far from healthy.
This ties into the issue with "nice guys"—those who are only pretending to be nice with the underlying goal of getting laid. Women see through that facade, and it’s not attractive. True kindness and genuine interest can't be faked, and when they are, it often backfires.
In the end, while I see value in Mr. Feynman’s lesson about honesty, I think it's crucial to remember that successful relationships—whether short-term or long-term—are built on mutual respect, understanding, and a connection that goes beyond just physical attraction. So, yes, be honest and direct, but don’t forget the importance of genuine communication and the ability to simply enjoy someone’s company, without any strings attached.
